


We are not okay

by StillTryingToFly



Series: Answers from NASA [2]
Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crew as Family, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, NASA answers questions, everybody needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 06:08:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5323454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StillTryingToFly/pseuds/StillTryingToFly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On Sol 119 the HAB breaches. Someone has to tell the crew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We are not okay

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of another fic of mine, but they can both be read independently. This is set around Sol 123 once Mark has reestablished communication with NASA.

Millions of kilometers from earth, the crew of the Hermes was crowded around Johanssen’s station, waiting silently for the data dump. This was so wrong thought Beck. The daily data dump was meant to be the high point of the day, the time they got email and videos from friends and family back on earth, recently though it had become more defined as the time they got updates on Mark. The crew was even more tense than usual that evening, the previous few days’ updates had been vague and roundabout that it scared them. The fact that NASA had kept the knowledge that Mark was alive for two months before they told the crew made them worry about what NASA was hiding now. Secrets like that could make any relationship stained.

“Complete,” Johanssen’s voice broke Beck out of his trance. “Personals are all sent to your laptops and--,” she broke off with a choked sound. She swallowed thickly before she continued, “There’s a voice message addressed to all of us.”

The effect was immediate, Lewis had clenched her fists at her sides; Vogel inhaled sharply and stood perfectly still, his lips pressed together tightly; Beth gripped the arms of her chair so tightly her knuckles had turned white; Martinez had crossed his arms across his chest; Beck noticed his crewmates reactions even as he wrung his hands in nerves. This was some sick parallel from three weeks before when Mitch Henderson had changed their lives by telling them Mark Watney was still alive. Since then NASA hadn’t sent any official video messages and seeing one now made Beck feel like his stomach had been filled with ice.

“Play it,” he heard himself whisper into the silence on the bridge.

Johanssen opened the message and sat back, only Beck noticing the way she was chewing on the inside of her lip in nerves.

On the screen Mitch Henderson was leaning over a desk, Teddy Sanders and Venkat Kapoor stood next to each other behind Mitch, all three of them looking tired and drawn.

“Hermes,” Mitch began, “I want to start this message by telling you Watney is still alive and unharmed, but there has been an unfortunate setback. On Sol 119 there was a complete detachment of Airlock 1 and the HAB was breached.”

Beck felt like he’d been run over by a truck. Johanssen gasped, gripping the arms of her chair so hard they creaked. Beck watched all the blood drain out of the commander’s face and heard Martinez begin to swear under his breath. Vogel flinched like he’d been struck but didn’t make a sound.

“Watney was in the airlock at the time and he was able to get to the rover eventually, and has since reinflated the HAB. Unfortunately the potato plants are now dead so we are going to have to get a probe to him a lot earlier than we planned. We want you to remember that we still have a plan to rescue Watney, and that this does not mean we are going to give up on him.”

Teddy took a step closer to the camera before speaking. “We are going to have Dr Shields contact each of you through your emails and we’re going to make sure you all can send email to Mark as soon as possible.”

Venkat Kapoor began to speak, “Mark is in good physical health and HAB is in good condition considering it... popped. We’ll keep you up to date if his condition changes.”

Beth snorted derisively, NASA had kept so much from them she doubted NASA would make good on that promise.

Mitch leaned forward, “We’ll keep you informed about Watney’s progress and the resupply probe when we have those details. Henderson out.”

The screen went black. For a moment nobody moved and then Lewis scrubbed her hand down her face and they heard her mutter, “Oh god, I need a drink.”

Suddenly exhausted Beck collapsed on the floor like a puppet whose strings have been cut, he put his head in his hands and wondered when Mars would be done screwing with them.

“Chris?” Johanssen’s voice was gentle but worried. “Are you ok?”

Beck opened one eye, peeking in between his fingers to see them looking at him in concern before dropping his hands to his lap.

“Honestly? No. I’m not okay. Why would I be okay? My friend is alone on Mars and the only way to save him is a rushed probe, I just got reminded how ridiculously dangerous it is to be on Mars and that there is a very good chance I’ll never see him again. And to top it all off the people we work for are deliberately keeping things from us because they don’t think we can handle the stress. So no, I am not okay.” Beck didn’t yell but he was speaking quickly and he was out of breath by the end. Beck dropped his head back to his hands even more drained than he had felt before.

There was a resounding silence in the bridge was broken by Johanssen as she got up from her seat and went to her knees to wrap Beck in a hug.

“I’m not okay either. I’m scared for Mark, and angry that I can’t help him, and yeah I wish NASA would just be straight with us, but guess what? It’s okay to not be okay. We have a right to be upset, all of us do, so long as we don’t let it interfere with our jobs. And you know what else? Mark is going to make it, of that I’m sure. He can take everything Mars throughs at him, he’s too stubborn to lay down and die. He’ll make it, Chris. We’ll see him again.”

“Promise?” He asked , feeling like a child wanting reassurance that everything would be okay.

“Promise,” Beth said firmly.

Beck wasn’t ashamed to admit he might have clung to her, just a little bit. He didn’t have a chance to feel embarrassed about it because within seconds Martinez and Vogel had joined them on the floor and were hugging him too.

“Don’t make me come over there commander.”

Beck opened his eyes to peer between the arms surrounding him to see Lewis who looked like she desperately wanted to join their hug, and Johanssen who looked like she would drag the commander into the hug if she had to.

**Decision made Melissa strode gracefully over to the crew she still had with her and wrapped her arms around them and held them close.**


End file.
